I would like to say that my first post in almost a month would be cheery but, it isn't. Have you ever had an experience that is so painful, so awful, that you know it will alter the definition of who you believe you are? I hate those moments in life and I had one yesterday. I am not going to go into the nitty gritty details of it but it ripped my heard out. It made me look at myself and wonder why I try to be a nice person. There are vulture and arms dealers out there that want to tear us down. Until yesterday I always brushed that off & told myself that I still was going to be a heart on my sleeve kind of person because, the pain was worth the happiness. I don't believe that anymore. I felt myself sizing up all of my relationships & really looking into who was my friend & who used me. I feel that in a small way, part of me has died. I know that it isn't important but, I just wanted to put that out there on the wind, try to let it go.